Some questions are never answered. Some actions are never understood. I can only see things from my own perspective and I will preface everything I say in this post with the admission that I am imperfect and biased on certain situations. Women and men today are under a ridiculous amount of pressure to have it all; to be perfect. Our standards will all vary on what perfection is. The biggest roadblock we face to finding peace in our lives and developing self acceptance of any real merit is: our acceptance of the world’s standards.
Being “of the world” means competing and boasting of scholastic, professional, financial, fitness, and social achievement. Nowhere in the world’s standards is there appreciation for kindness, integrity, quality, faithfulness, honesty, or loving. We have bought into the fancy marketing for inanimate objects and translated that into our personal relationships. We want to constantly own and show off the newest, flashiest, best thing we have. Without careful consideration some have turned everything in their lives into a disposable situation; marriage included. Couples divorce without cracking open their bible or seeking counsel–because one or both partners is ready to cash it all in with the fantasy expectation that the excitement of a new partner will greater benefit them; rather than building on the years of love they previously shared. Lives are shattered, children are affected, friends are divided, families are separated; and all so someone can give into their selfish desire?
I feel sick at times when I digest the true situations out there. I know several brave women who are right now picking up the pieces or beginning the process of recovering from adultery. They will find new residences, they will continue to be amazing mothers & friends, and they will undoubtedly learn to forgive, trust, and hope again. Anyone who has been through a cheating situation knows and remembers vividly the pain of finally having the courage to check their partner’s phone just to find a solid history of mysterious phone calls and texts that explain too many situations that had seemed confusing; changing how you felt about that person in an instant. The pain, disappointment, betrayal, and anger is explosive for even a “strong” person.
That said…………. I have something that is REALLY bothering me……….. The people they are cheating with are of the lowest quality possible—-financially, sexually, emotionally, professionally irresponsible—–completely immature, overtly sexual, disgustingly manipulative—and always out to use them for resources. Men and women cheat. They cheat with unclean, immoral, immature opportunists. It is mind-blowing to me that a man can throw down the creator’s armor, open his heart to evil desire, and make a bee-line for the most wicked adulteress he can find. When the creator made the earth for us and shared his loving instructions they were pretty simple–(old or new testament AND plain common sense) If a woman is sleeping around to get men to pay her bills, buy her things or build up her self-esteem (this is the wrong way) she is an adulteress. The bible says to STAY AWAY from her, do not enter her home, do not follow her paths, etc… There is no *unless you think you can “help” her* clause. Stay away from evil. Do not let it drag you down. The greatest sin one can commit is against their own body—and sleeping with some cheap woman so she can falsely flatter you for a couple of hours is pathetic at best.
No matter what your spiritual background, mine being firmly planted in the word of the creator I think life can be loving, amazing, happy, fulfilling beyond our greatest expectations as long as we follow the word. Life isn’t about finding someone more exciting, more motivated, more educated, more wealthy, more attractive—It is about overcoming the ways of the world to appreciate what you have with all of your heart; being committed to improving in real ways–not taking up with prostitutes (isn’t that really what this usually boils down to??? Women who want money; men giving it to them after they have sex…) rather than providing for your family. Hey a**hole—-your kid could use some new shoes, stop giving money to your mistress for cigarettes.
Love each other with all of your hearts, respect each other completely, and value your family. For those of you who would rather use the creator’s children, devalue love, and lead people into temptation; I will pray for you but you are not welcome at my table. Love doesn’t have a price tag, a perfect weight, a lack of wrinkles or crows feet, or a Mercedes. Contribute time, love, and energy into your family instead of seeking a cheap replacement.