Sometimes life is only as tough as we make it. I have thought a lot lately about how people perceive they are being treated. And we’ve all heard that perception is reality… It is in times where we feel like our lives, treatment, or circumstances are unfair that we need to take a large step back to properly survey our environment. It is critical (to our happiness and well-being) that we are measuring with proper tools; not just being selfish because we didn’t get what we want! Responding to not getting what you want by becoming cruel, childish, and hard-to-handle will not improve upon any situation. Fairness is not the real goal, being loving in our actions and responses is!
In my own life I have seen it happen and I have done it to myself: the awful scenario where you push someone away only to feel SORRY FOR YOURSELF when they don’t anticipate your needs; whether in a celebratory or comforting way. Be sure that you haven’t prevented someone from being aware of your circumstances before you chastise them (publicly or privately) for not supporting you. And while we are at it: let’s be sure to not expect coddling for every stubbed-toe we endure. We need to trust that our creator will guide us in the right direction; so long as we are listening. We can’t depend on other people in that same capacity.
Moreover, it is not just times when we feel wronged that we have to prepare for; it is crucial that we are ready to help/support those we love in the best way possible. We need to be grounded in our morals, we need to set a consistent tone for our lives, and we need to do what is right; not what someone else selfishly wants.
* Partying—We need to stay sober around the friend who drinks too much; and not be a crutch (drinking buddy) when they are sad. At the same time we need to guide them towards healthy activities (other than partying) when they are looking to celebrate. We might be the boring friend; but we will be the rock-solid friend they can depend on at all times. Joining them and enabling them to stay in their bad place does a disservice to them and us!
* Money—It is all too common in this day and age to drown our sorrows (or celebrate) with a little retail therapy. Whether or not someone has tons of extra money; it is a rotten idea to solve all of your problems or reward yourself constantly with material possessions. Too much importance and love is placed on material things; and when all of the money is gone you’ll have even bigger problems!
* Relationships— Along the way we accumulate friends with many different faults and good qualities. In a perfect world the good people would be easy to spot and the bad people would be obvious to avoid (that does happen sometimes.) We know weaknesses in each other and it is wrong to deceive someone into doing your will. It is also wrong to be used. There is a give and take in relationships. We can’t expect anyone to have money set aside for our emergencies and we can’t neglect our families to rescue people from themselves.
Once we know what we expect out of life; which is easily illustrated to others by our actions–then we can begin to fairly judge circumstances. Living on selfish emotion just leads to drama. There is good left in this world; and we need to be an example of patience, wise judgement, kindness, and love. It is when we let ourselves be deceived or we become selfish that everything seems broken. We need to be in a good place; then we can talk fairness.