Self-respect is a different concept now than it was a couple of years back. My priorities were way off track and the things I valued were in reality–quite empty. How much worth we place on ourselves; our actions, our thoughts, our intentions, our successes and our failures follow this logic that we, ourselves, create. The good news is; no matter how many times we may have fallen short of our own (or other people’s) expectations, we can always change.
Take the word “compromise.” I only knew of it as a noun, a thing, where in order to settle a disagreement you bargained with the other side for what you wanted. There is another compromise! It is a verb, an action, where you lower your standards and it can result in damage or harm. (Compromised safety standards or compromised moral standards.) Know what your standards are for your life. This is one area that can not be determined by other people. We all love to be “unique” and stand alone; to be special and one of a kind. However, I do think we typically share common standards. Try to keep yourself safe, do not do things just to make other people happy, and realize that when you are living in accordance with your highest, most loving standards you will feel better about your life!
Today’s world has some unhealthy, odd prescriptions for sadness. It frequently involves advice or therapy in the form of eating, shopping, drinking alcohol… pretty much anything to keep us distracted from bettering ourselves. Sometimes things need to slow down and calm down. We have to stop telling each other it is okay to freak out; to set an internal boiling point that if crossed, results in destructive behavior with a side-dish of lasting consequences.
People today seem afraid to be guided by The Word, and I never want to be afraid to share it. The more we turn to the world for advice; the further we will be guided from decent standards for our lives. I’m not talking about strict/unbearable lives with little freedom or happiness. I am talking about appreciation for truth, kindness, generosity, and diminished appreciation for selfish living that leads to destruction. I just watched a video from a young woman in her early 20’s; touting self-expression, fulfilling all of your desires, and freaking out on anyone who tries to steer you away from pure selfishness. I wish I could impart my life’s experiences on this girl right now. Life is too short to spend your time looking for evidence that others have done you wrong or held you back from pleasure. Know yourself, your standards, and keep the promises that you make to yourself. Even if you do everything perfectly; you will experience disappointment & sadness. You’ll just pick yourself up quicker and learn from it; rather than condemn yourself to a self-destructive cycle of unhappiness.
Be vigilant in keeping your highest standards and be aware of who you turn to for advice. They might not know what their standards are for their life and their tone may be confused. There are many things I am unsure of; but looking back I will vouch for my own behavior, that in the past:
- My selfishness included destructive behavior like gossiping–which is grossly overlooked for the wicked b.s. causer it truly is…
- I was ridiculously materialistic and I, 100%, was influenced in my purchases by magazines, TV, and advertising. I didn’t need or truly want the clothing, cars, cosmetics, or household items that I coveted. I was convinced that owning a Chanel bag would make me happier…
- I placed far too little importance on family. I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I made the mistake of relying on “party friends” and loose acquaintances; because your party friends are always nice and complimentary to you. Now I would go back and spend every Friday night renting movies with my sister. She has good taste in movies, a great sense of humor, and never disappoints in introducing me to new types of food or drink. (And it is safe to sleep on her couch.)
- I made myself crazy with worry. I was anxious and feared many life changes and decisions. I stayed in unhappy jobs and relationships because of this.
- I fought reality. Realize you have less control over your life than you want to have; and deal with it. Cut out the unimportant and cherish the valuable more than ever. Some things you wanted to happen; the things that everyone else “gets” to have–they just won’t happen. That doesn’t mean life is ruined and that you can be bitter forever more… Respect yourself & reflect your appreciation for life in your words, actions, and thoughts.
Avoid those behaviors above. 🙂 This post may be lengthy; but you are worth it! Dodge self-pity traps and be the brightest, healthiest you that you can be! Don’t accept cruelty or give it out. If you can’t control yourself; avoid certain people. Do not cause purposeful harm to your brothers or sisters. When you like who you are; you can sleep at night. If you determine your worth; then accept it, you are worth a lot. It isn’t prideful to adhere to high personal standards. It isn’t vain to love your life. It is ours for the taking; if we respect ourselves enough.